I got my mission call in September (or was it late August?) of 1998. I was to enter the MTC in November. During that time, I stayed home and worked, trying to earn as much money as I could in a few short months. I had spent a few summers working as a data entry clerk at a small company in Holladay. The people were nice and I had learned to type quickly, so I could earn decent money. It was extremely boring, however. I would listen to talk radio as I typed and spent many hours listening to Dr. Laura and Rush Limbaugh.
As my mission approached, a thought entered my mind that frightened me. It is too personal to share, but I started to obsess about it and it became very difficult for me. I tried praying and I stopped listening to talk radio and listening to church and classical music instead. I read my scriptures and attended mission prep. I went to the temple. I did everything I could think of to rid my mind of this obsessive thought.
I wasn't worried about if I was worthy to serve a mission, but I did feel like this would be a big distraction. I went forward with my mission prep and things certainly got better with the thoughts, but sometimes they would still come back.
I said goodbye to my family and entered the MTC. Even in the MTC where I was surrounded by goodness and spirit, sometimes the thought would creep in and I felt like it was Satan trying to veer me off of my path.
The MTC had some good times--but perhaps the most memorable moment for me was when I eradicated this obsession forever (or at least until now, 20 years later.) I had joined the MTC choir and we were singing for a devotional with Elder Holland. It was a lovely talk he gave--I remember he testified of the Savior and told us how as disciples of Christ, we are following in his footsteps and our path would not be easy. I felt the spirit testify of Christ and His love for us. At the close of the song, the choir sang "I Believe in Christ," and when we got to the verse that says, "from Satan's grasp, He sets me free," the spirit washed over me and I felt so strongly that Christ was my answer and I could be free from these thoughts.
And it was true! It went away. It has never bothered me since. I literally felt Christ's power free me from Satan's grasp.
It may seem a small thing, but it was huge for me. It taught me a few things. First of all, I learned that sometimes our prayers aren't answered instantly. And that is good. We often have to work for our answers. Also, I learned about the power of music--never before or since have I been so completely transformed by music. I love this hymn and every time I sing it I remember the power it had over me. And I learned about the power of the Spirit and of Christ to heal our minds and hearts.
It was the first of many miracles I would witness on my mission.
sent to Steven
ReplyDelete